Is your child about to start early education and care?
For parents and caregivers the most daunting adjustment can be the anxiety of being apart for the first time or worrying about how your child will cope through this change. Separation anxiety is common, although easily addressed with a positive outlook and a few expert tips from professional educators.
This change can be as challenging for the child as the grown-ups involved. You may find that you both have an unexpected emotional response. For this reason, it’s important to focus on the benefits so that all parties can quickly transition into a healthy, happy routine.
BEFORE YOU START
Most early childhood services will have an orientation prior to commencing, which may be a couple of hours in care for you and your child to familiarise yourselves with the new surroundings and routine.
Become familiar: Familiarise your child with the new environment in advance. Pre-plan a visit for your child where he or she can meet the educators and experience the environment for themselves. Talking with educators about what your child will be doing will build your confidence. If possible, driving past the location, pointing it out to your child and discussing it, will make the space feel safe, so that your child can look forward to this new milestone, minimising their anxiety and developing their understanding of the upcoming change.
Be prepared: Organisation and preparation is key to minimising rush on the morning of your child’s first day. Children are sensitive to the stress of adults, so the more organised you are, the more seamless you can make morning drop-offs. Prepare their bag the night before, plan or lay out their clothes, and have a routine already in mind to get you from A to B, to make the morning stress-free for you both.
Tell the educators about your child: To help them better understand your child, talk to the educators about your child’s sleep patterns, temperament, special interests, favourite activities, likes and dislikes, developmental stage or needs, and any special family circumstances. This will help educators tailor the experience to truly meet the needs of your child, ensuring your child feels a real sense of belonging at the service.
THE FIRST DAY
You and your child will likely have some mixed emotions on their first day of care. Expect that you will both be excited and nervous about this new experience. Your child will look to you for what to do/how to respond.
Be calm: Children of all ages can feel your emotional levels and they respond to these. If you are anxious they will feel this and respond the same way. Try to be as calm and positive as possible.
Introduce yourselves: Approach the educators and introduce yourself and your child. Talk about something exciting your child has recently experienced or something they like – for example a favourite game or activity. This is especially important for toddlers and preschoolers, as it creates an opportunity for your child to talk to the educator while having the physical support of their you present.
Take your child on a tour of the room: Show them where their locker is, where their belongings will be kept and reassure your child they can access these throughout the day. Show them where the bathroom is and/or the nappy change areas depending on your child’s stage of development. Point out the similarities and differences to familiarise them with the surroundings.
Recognise their feelings: If your child or baby is cuddling you tightly, soothe them and calmly talk about what is happening. If your child begins to cry take a moment to sit with them and calm them down. Reading a book together can be a good distraction and help settle them into the environment.
Keep calm and say goodbye: It may be tough, and there can be the temptation to sneak off, but a calm goodbye with a kiss and cuddle at drop-off, even if your little one is in tears, is what experts recommend. Avoiding a drawn-out goodbye makes it easier for you both and avoids confusion for your child. It is helpful to give your child an identifiable timeline for your return (e.g. ‘After afternoon tea you will have a play and then I will be back to pick you up,’ rather than ‘I’ll be back soon’). Maintain your trust in the professionals you have chosen for your child. They will acknowledge and comfort him or her, supporting them to settle in and begin to explore new experiences and friends.
Give them a family photo: A photo or small album of photos of your family can be a great comfort for your child in care and also a great way to foster a link between home and care environments as the educators can engage in conversations with your child about their family. It may also be helpful for your child to have a transitional object – such as a comforter or special toy – to help them feel secure during this early stage.
At pick up: Don’t be alarmed if your child becomes distressed when you return to pick them up. It has been a big and emotional day for them on their first day/week of care and they are happy to see their families return for them.Encourage your child to wave or say goodbye to their educators to continue to foster a positive relationship. Remind your child they will be returning to school tomorrow or another day.
Debrief and discuss: Educators will be happy to share with you an update from your child’s day on pick-up. It’s important to continue the conversation with your child, asking questions about their day and learning about their feelings as they embark on this new phase. Positive conversations will help your child adjust and understand the experience, while making you feel involved in their development.
Be prepared for the next day: If your child has had a great first day with no tears when you left, be prepared that it may be different the next day you come to care. The first time it was all new and exciting, the second time they recognise a routine is forming and might not want another day away from their family. If they do become upset, follow the same routine and be consistent in your approach.
COMMUNICATION
Every child and family is unique, so communication is the most effective way to navigate this milestone. This experience is new, but it can also be exciting, and should be nurtured with the positive attention that it deserves.
Talk honestly with each other at home, and draw on the support of the educators, who are highly experienced with the challenges of families and children encountering new routines.
As you work together with your early childhood service, you will feel informed and empowered by the experience, so that you can be the best support to your child as they grow and adjust.
“When we feel safe, we explore, we learn, we grow”.
— (Kids Matter, Australian Early Childhood Mental Health Initiative)
